Alright, fun week ahead. Shorter slate because of thanksgiving, so it might feel slow but I think it’s healthy to have everything in moderation so this week is needed.

Falcons @ Jaguars +1.5:
I don’t have a lot here. I think the Jaguars are going to get blown out by the less shitty Falcons. I think 1.5 is an easy spread to cover even for Atlanta but the Jaguars are just that bad, I don’t think even they can figure out a way to win this game. Urban Meyer needs to quit and go to the open USC job. T-Law is a bust. Falcons cover.

Panthers @ Dolphins +2:
Even with Cam back, I’m still surprised they are favorites here. I thought the Dolphins would be considering they’ve won THREE straight. That is a bizarre statement to type. Tua might not suck right now, and I’m not saying he or the Dolphins or legit but if they win today they could actually flip the script a little. They aren’t making playoffs by any means but they have a winnable schedule coming up. How wild would it be to see the Dolphins at .500. Totally possible. As much as I love Cam I think I would love to see the fish randomly do something a little impressive this week so I’m taking Miami +2.

Jets @ Texans -2.5:
Who the fuck approved this game to happen? I don’t know how to even go about this game. No matter who they’ve beat, how they played in the previous weeks, it does not matter whatsoever. Both teams are so confusing and just bad that it’s impossible to predict. The only thing I think is off the table is that either team blows the other out. Other than that though it’s pretty wide open.

Eagles @ Giants +3.5:
I wish I stayed in New York the whole weekend to go to this game.
NFC Beast matchup so it could be a really good game. Jalen Hurts, Miles Sanders, Devonta Smith. The perfect recipe for W’s here on out. The Eagles have back to back weeks at the Meadowlands, I think they make themselves at home and start off this trip to the Empire State with a big divisional win. Daniel Jones was HORRIBLE on MNF vs the Bucs and as of right now, the Eagles are just as capable of exposing their weaknesses again this week.

Steelers @ Bengals -3.5:
Regardless of score, always a dogfight. And I guarantee there is an actual fight during this game at least once. I honestly don’t even care who wins this, I’m just here for a scrap. Big Ben has looked good coming back from covid and the Bengals are so back and forth it’s hard to know which team is going to show up. Very possible the good Cincinnati Bengals (the team who beat the Ravens and the Steelers already) appear again and take their second game against Pittsburgh at home this Sunday. It’s tough to beat a team twice though and because of that I guess I would have to choose the Steelers who are a well rounded offense. Additionally – TJ Watt and Minkah Fitzpatrick are supposed to be back to terrorize Joe Burrow come Sunday. Joe Haden questionable as of now.

Bucs @ Colts +3.0:
Colts are dogs who have been cooking lately, they are a team no one wants to play right now getting late in the season. Even though the Bucs got back to the team we expect them to be last Monday night, this should be a really good game. Indy is making a great case that they deserve a playoff spot this season. But on the other hand, it’s Tom Brady. Tampa had a stumble a few weeks ago but if Monday taught us anything it’s that they are still the reigning champs for a good reason. If anyone can crack the Colts right now it would be Brady.

Titans @ Patriots -7.0:
TITANS ARE UNDERDOGS?!?! I can’t wait for this game. I am also scared of this game. I’ve determined the reason I love the Titans this season is because they are one of those teams who don’t have the greatest legacy in the NFL, not the biggest fanbase (growing fast though), and Derrick Henry is just awesome and one of my favorite players. The Patriots are awesome right now, don’t get me wrong, they’re sick. But 7 points?! That’s a lot to ask for. The Titans were in shambles against the Texans who they clearly just didn’t prepare for at all and still could’ve won if it weren’t for Tannehill’s arm not working right. I’m giving them every excuse for losing this but they are just being disrespected yet again and I hope they humble not only the Patriots but Vegas for putting them at 7 points dogs.

Chargers @ Broncos +2.5:
2.5 seems like a rat line. I believe in the Chargers who beat the Steelers last week to cover the spread. They are by far the better team on offense and both defenses are ass so that’s irrelevant. The main reason I think this game could go the other way is because it’s an AFC West divisional game and upsets are more prone. Regardless though, the Chargers need to win almost all of their remaining schedule to have a sure chance at winning the division over the Chiefs and Raiders. Gotta win here in their mind.

Rams @ Packers +1.5:
Packers aren’t favorite at home vs. the Rams?! The Rams have looked like shit recently, I am confused and upset and will be betting on the Packers who are disrespected by this line. I am so confused. After adding OBJ and Von Miller the Rams are 0-2. They are coming off the bye, I will take that into consideration but their super team has been anything but super so far. And the Packers, while they lost a divisional game to the Vikings (another playoff team) are a great team still, easily still my pick for the NFC Champs, maybe even Super Bowl champs. We need more Aaron Rodgers controversy or something like that to make this game as exciting as possible. I feel like he thrives when something weird is happening in the news, related to him or not, he just knows how to spice things up.

Vikings @ 49ers -3.0:
Lowkey could be a really good game, the Vikings, while they have played well, could get exposed from the 49ers who are also sneakily stringing along wins, 3 of their last 4 games they’ve won by 2 scores or more. On paper the Vikings have the better team overall with Justin Jefferson and Dalvin Cook rather than Deebo Samuel and Jimmy G. I guess, according to the spread, it wouldn’t be an upset for the 49ers to win but it still feels like they shouldn’t be favored here. But either way I think I would rather see them win over the Vikings, who like I said at the end of last week, I can’t stand for some unknown reason. I actually met a Vikings fan at the airport last week and I couldn’t even pretend to not hate them.

Browns @ Ravens -3.5:
Another AFC North matchup. Lamar Jackson has been given the green light to play after ending the week with full practices. Baker is hurt, Lamar’s back, the Ravens offense is just better than the Browns defense. If they double or triple Myles Garrett then they should be able to contain him and have no problem torching the rest of the defense. Of all the great games today I thought they would’ve flexed pretty much any other game to SNF but I guess that’s not happening. However, literally the fact that I am saying that probably means this game is going to be a banger and I’m going to eat my words.

Seahawks @ WFT:
Pick-em game, no line for this. Honestly if I had to I think I’d go WFT here. The Seahawks are loose butthole right now. They can’t do anything on offense and can’t stop anyone on defense. WFT isn’t even good but they can at least drive down the field a couple times a game. I guess I would rather see the Seahawks win this to boost the strength of the Eagles playoff’s chances.

Okay so I guess I was wrong, going through all those feels like we have a nice large slate this weekend. Only two teams on bye’s, a couple top teams matching up as well as a healthy amount of divisional games too. Looking forward to this weekend. LFG.

Bye’s: Arizona Cardinals, Kansas City Chiefs

Sunday Funday:
Why am I so bad recently? This slump is rapidly deteriorating my mental health and I am BROKEN. Why do I do this to myself, I thought I was choosing only locks, I hate this. Yet here we are, trying once again to beat Vegas. I believe that we will win.

Lock: Chargers -2.5 @ Broncos
I think this is a rat line, the Chargers may have not been as hot as they were early on but they are still a good football team. This AFC West matchup in Denver isn’t enough for me to be talked out of betting it as a lock.
Upset: Rams @ Packers +1.5
I don’t know why this game is favored for the Rams. They haven’t looked special recently and Matt Stafford has struggled. Plus it’s in Green Bay and the Packers just handed them an L, they can’t lose 2 straight.
Over: Titans @ Patriots O43.5
This looks like easy money. Even though the Titans struggled last week they are still the #1 seed for a reason. Same with the Patriots, they’re a great football team right now who can put up points. 43.5 seems low and I’m gonna hammer it.
Under: Seahawks @ WFT U46.5
Only one game has an O/U of over 50 which makes this pick difficult. But I think this game has 0 star power right now and there isn’t enough on either team to produce that many points.

Last Week Sucking: 1-3:
Lock: Packers -1.5 @ Vikings – L
Upset: Giants @ Bucs -10.5 – L
Over: Dolphins @ Jets O45 – L
Under: 49ers @ Jaguars U45.5 – Sorry ass W

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