I’m Sorry

I needed a break from the extremely demanding and heavily read blogging I do so I took the last 2 weeks off to enjoy relaxing around Christmas time and kinda just not use my brain at all. I got to fly home and spend time with my family and watch football with my aunt and uncle like I always did when I was a kid. And good news, the Eagles are in the playoffs as of right now! Still hoping the Cowboys win against the Cardinals this week so they rest their starters in Week 18 and the Eagles can clinch a spot by beating their bench. Gotta win this week first, which I am very excited about just because of how many big games there are going to be! Woo!

Giants @ Bears -6
Ummmm, who cares? I mean the Bears clearly win here but the players gotta be hoping the Giants actually try so Matt Nagy’s record at the end of the season doesn’t look better than it is. Plus, ya know, draft picks. The Giants are a bottom 3 team right now and Chicago isn’t far from them, I don’t care if Nick Foles led them to a dramatic win last week against the Seahawks, they might tie this game if they aren’t red hot at the start, just out of spite. This game affects my life in no way other than the fact that I want to see Nagy get fired.

Jaguars @ Patriots -14.5
Honestly, the Patriots probably cover here by a landslide. Trevor Lawrence isn’t going to be able to play football against Belichick’s defense. I actually am pausing this paragraph right this second to bet on this game… Okay we’re back. Yeah so I’m not worried about this game failing at all which totally means it is going to, Jags win 9-3.

Rams @ Ravens +3.5
Lamar Jackson is presumed to be playing which is where all of the Ravens hope lies. If he plays they have a chance, if he doesn’t – they don’t and that’s not just for this game but with the way this season is shaping out, for their playoff hopes too. The Rams are likely going to be able to throw everything they want on their defense which has been underwhelming to say the least. And considering Cooper Kupp is doing whatever he wants to on offense this season, it could get ugly. Only hope is if Lamar plays and they are able to keep it close enough to strike at the end of the game.

Buccaneers @ Jets +13.5
Another easy game, Brady is in god mode and there is no way, even with all the injuries, this game ends any other way besides a Bucs astounding victory. Zach Wilson did look sick last week and the Jets were actually super fun to watch with their kick return TD also. However, playing a little bit better Tampa Bay compared to last weeks Jaguars so things are sure to go quite different.

Falcons @ Bills -14.5
The Falcons are notorious for getting punished against good teams and punishing teams worse than them. The Bills, while 14.5 is a lot to ask for (and they’ve let down everyone before), are in win now mode if they want to have a shot at a home playoff game and winning the AFC East. I think they do that demandingly. I am actually still crazy surprised that they are even in this position still, I was thinking there was no way they had a chance at the AFC East once the Patriots started their lil hot streak. Josh Allen is sick though and I hope he goes off to show the rest of the league he too, is in yoffs mode.

Chiefs @ Bengals +5.5
This game feels like the Chiefs are going to steamroll Cincy based off how they’ve been playing literally their last 10 games. I feel like they could win this by 10+ and it never feel even close which I would hate to see. But if the Bengals win then they are in the playoffs and shock the world by winning the AFC North so maybe they’ll have a little extra motivation to go hard this game. Plus Joey B had the game of his life last week and it would be awesome to see him continue that hot streak.

Dolphins @ Titans -3.5
Titans gotta be in somewhat desperation mode if they want to secure the AFC South which no one thought would be in doubt after the Colts lost both games against Tennessee by week 6 or whatever it was. It definitely won’t be easy either because the Dolphins have won what like 7 straight and have a serious playoff chance right now. It would be awesome to see this Tua led Miami Dolphins team make it that far even if they don’t survive Wildcard weekend.

Raiders @ Colts -6.5
Unless the Raiders have a late season second wind then they might get slaughtered this week. Okay, maybe not slaughtered but I don’t think the Colts give them much of a chance and they (Jonathan Taylor) does his thing and seriously makes his case for MVP of the league. I wanna know how close him and Derrick Henry would be if Henry never got injured this year. Or if it would still be such a drastic difference if he cooled off or something.

Eagles @ WFT +3.5
Birds gotta win, I could’ve gone to this game which would have been such a fun time but I’m kind of happy I’m not because I like to watch all of the games from my own home rather than just the one. We dominated Washington the first time we played them but that was also the covid game that riddled WFT to the core and took out Heinicke. He is playing this week so hopefully we can get to him early to rattle him and Miles Sanders or whoever we have in the backfield with Hurts can run the damn ball down their throats. However, I’m sure dumbass Sirianni will throw the ball like 8 plays in a row for no yards.

Broncos @ Chargers -6.5
With Teddy getting hurt constantly the Broncos are pretty much in shambles and while the Chargers have just about fucked their playoff chances, this seems like a game they are just about guaranteed to win. However, they are the Chargers so they’ll probably lose by two scores like they just did to the friggin Houston Texans. Most unpredictable franchise ever, year in and year out you never know what is going to happen each week.

Texans @ 49ers -12.5
12.5 is a lot of points and Houston just had a big win so we’ll see who shows up for them like last week. The 49ers will most likely dominate this week though because they have a great chance to succeed in the playoffs and that starts by securing the 5th or 6th seed. Also, the Eagles need them to win for a chance for them to clinch this week which would be very relieving.

Lions @ Seahawks -7
I don’t think this game matters for anything. However, even it did I think I would want the Lions either way. This game could be a fun shitty game and that’s honestly all anyone can hope for from either of these teams who have nothing to lose. Also, 7 points seems like a lot for the Seahawks who kinda suck. Especially against a not as bad as they seem Lions.

Cardinals @ Cowboys -5.5
I won’t know who to root for in this game until after the Eagles game ends. Basically if Philly wins, go Cowboys in hopes they are comfy enough to rest their starters next week and we can get another W. However, if we lose, I would love to see the Cardinals beat them which is very possible. I know Arizona has looked fragile recently and very fraudulent but if anything, we know that they are capable of it, whether or not they’ve shown it as of late, their talent has been present before.

Panthers @ Saints -7
I’m pretty sure for the Eagles to clinch I need to be hoping for the Saints to win this week? Since we have the tie breaker that would make sense. Either way since it’s a divisional matchup too, this shouldn’t be hard for them. The Saints play their best exclusively against other NFC South teams and plus the Panthers are an absolute shit show all around so this game should be over quick. Thanks for coming out Caroina.

Vikings @ Packers -12.5
As soon as it was announced Kirk Cousins was out this week, this spread shot up 6 points. Cousins got covid and since he’s not vaxxed he has to be out minimum like 10 days I think so congratulations Green Bay, good dub. This also helps the Eagles a lot, the Vikings might be completely eliminated if the cards fall right by the end of the day. Also, I would be very confident in betting Davante Adams ATTS today, it’s bound to happen, too good.

Browns @ Steelers +3
I really do believe since it is very likely Ben’s last home game that the Steelers find a way to not only cover but win this game. I’m sure there is going to be a huge tribute and ceremony throughout the entire game and the commentators are sure to be giving their praise and I am 1000% there for it, as weird of a guy he is, he deserves all the praise on Monday night. You can’t not love him. Plus the Browns are in desperation mode so I would love to see the AFC basically fizzle them out this week.

Sunday Funday
This is going to be such an awesome day full of football. Whether or not my bets hit, realizing I have work tomorrow, or my teams win – a lot of important things will happen and it’s really the best time of the season.

Lock: Falcons @ Bills -14.5
Like I said, the Falcons suck against good teams and I think they get exposed for possibly the last time this season.
Upset: Lions +8 @ Seahawks
The Lions could totally win this game and I think 8 points is a large enough spread to be confident betting they can show up and get that.
Over: Chiefs @ Bengals O51
51 is a lot of points but this game is going to be fun to watch, both teams have a lot to play for and it’s hard to see how a lot of points aren’t scored.
Under: Panthers @ Saints U38.5
I believe the total is now 36.5 but it was 38.5 when I bet it a few days ago. Take either in my opinion, this could be shutout for the Saints or just a fun Under, so win-win.

Week 15 Heroics: (3-1)
Cardinals -12.5 @ Lions – L(MAO)
Saints +11 @ Bucs – W
Packers @ Ravens O46.5 – W
Vikings @ Bears U44.5 – W

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